Oscar Acceptance Speech

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the Academy

For granting me this opportunity to thank

Everyone who made it all possible.

To those who gave me a chance to play this part,

In spite of an early critical consensus,

With which I concurred, that I was miscast.

But the auteur, perhaps seeking irony or shock,

Gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Some have accused him of fishing for Oscars,

In the manner that leading men sometimes

Play freaks of one kind or another,

Only they say he’s merely reversed the recipe, but

Be that as it may, I have little concern about the motives

Of artists and gods; and, yes,

Some have protested that by playing a monster in a man’s role

The auteur lacked all nuance and humanity,

But what did I have to lose?

I’m more than happy to play along,

To play opposite the diva, dressed down

In her denim and dirty hair,

Slumming for a trophy of her own,

To be exalted by her complicity to the part

Or some semblance of a man.

Turkey Mike’s Big Game

Our son Michael got his name from Carolyn’s great-grandfather Michael Patrick Donlin. No, this wasn’t the “Turkey” Mike Donlin who starred for the New York Giants. Our Mike Donlin lived in Ireland during the Great Famine. He spent his youth scaling sea cliffs, stealing eggs from sea gulls to fight off starvation. We don’t have any reason to believe that he played baseball, but that’s okay. Our son Michael is more than willing to compensate for that family shortcoming. Trouble is, he’s had some trouble getting recognition. He’s not a big kid, and his dad doesn’t have connections. After spending last spring watching his coaches ignore him, I wasn’t sure I wanted to put up with another year of Pony League. We signed him up for a couple dance classes. We would have had him play soccer in the fall, but baseball was cheaper, and I’m a sucker for cheaper, so we signed him up for fall baseball.

Our Say Hey Kid

Our Say Hey Kid

My Dad was a San Francisco Giants fanatic. His unfailing allegiance to the Giants began with his childhood, when he and the Giants were in New York. Listening to him talk about Willie Mays, you’d have thought Mays parted the Red Sea. Dad could never shake his addiction to the Giants no matter how badly the Giants did. He knew it to be a waste of time, but the Giants were too much a part of him to be cast aside. He endured year after year of mediocre seasons. To be sure, there were some good Giants teams over those decades, but the best of them hadn’t won the big prize since New York, back in ’54.

Last year, the Giants won their division on the last day of the regular season. As they battled through the playoffs, Michael was playing “fall ball,” watching the Giants make history and ratcheting up the intensity of his own play, diving or sliding head-first whenever he got a chance. He did well enough to earn the team “most valuable player” honor, and his fall ball coach expressed disappointment next spring when he failed to acquire Michael in the draft.

The Giants finally won the World Series. Obviously, this was big news in our family. It made me very happy to know that Dad—who’d just turned 86 years old—had finally seen the SF Giants win it all. Being blind, he had to see it with his ears, but he saw it just the same.

Last April, the day before we had planned to go on a trip to the desert, we got news that Dad had suffered a heart attack, and that he would not be long for the world. We changed our vacation plans, and, immediately after Michael’s game the next morning, we hit the highway for Oregon. Every time we stopped, whether to camp, to fill up the gas tank, to eat, or to walk the dog, Michael wanted to play catch. He had thoughts for his grandfather, however, and he was worried that the hospital might not let him into his grandfather’s room. Well, it turned out that he would be permitted to meet his grandfather a couple times. The second time, Michael wore his baseball glove, and presented it as though it were his hand. Grandpa’s frail fingers inspected the glove. Perhaps just making conversation—or perhaps not, Dad asked Michael to play for him. I thought nothing of it at the time.

After several days of visiting, we sped back home to San Jose and, prodded on by Michael, got back just in time to get him to his baseball practice. His team was preparing to face the Giants, the team at the top of the league. On the morning before that big game, we received word that Dad had passed away, and Carolyn dutifully informed Michael just before game time. His response was “Why’d you have to tell me now?!” Carolyn, desperate to recover from that mistake, then remembered Grandpa’s request, and she reminded Michael. Suddenly he didn’t mind so much. He would play this game for Grandpa, ironically, against the “Giants.”

It didn’t start well. Michael grounded out, then he struck out. Carolyn went to the dugout to check on him. He was crying. I didn’t try to comfort him. I didn’t know how to begin. But his team—the Astros—managed to build up a 2-0 lead against the Giants, and in the final inning, the Astros’ manager called Michael in to take the mound and finish the game. This was a first. Michael had been telling me that he could be a closer like the Astros’ ace “Lights-out” Ledbetter. Michael didn’t pitch flawlessly that day, but he was effective—as usual. He even dropped to the ground to nab a soft line drive just before it would have hit the pitcher’s mound and bounced who-knows-where. Michael completed the shutout of those looming Giants, and was honored with the game ball.

What a way to see Grandpa off.

The Astros finished the regular season in first place. That victory against the Giants, as things turned out, served as the tie-breaker. Michael has three of the best players in the league as teammates, but he too has played a big part in the Astros’ success. During the regular season, Michael was 3rd on the team in run production, 4th in batting, and 3rd in extra base hits (and all without a composite bat). As one of the team’s four regular pitchers, he had the second best ERA, allowing only three earned runs all season. But more impressive, this kid loves the game. He is so full of baseball it can get a little embarrassing. Last night after practice, he received his jersey for an upcoming tournament. He’d asked for number 24, Willie Mays’ number, and he got it. He didn’t make the slightest effort to hide his joy. It was as though he thought he’d been transformed by that jersey into the Say Hey Kid himself. I was a little overwhelmed, and I barked at him to get his bat and helmet, but inside I was happy for him; I was jumping with joy.

Andromeda

Princess of distant Ethiopia,
Prisoner of the sky:

What men say of your beauty
Can only be blasphemy
Now that I see you
Bound to the heavens
Right before my eyes
With beauties and beauties
Intimate as the stars,
and equally untouchable.

Men claim to have seen you,
But speak only of your jewels
Sparkling under your mother’s proud eyes
Between Perseus and Pegasus
And over me, we lie;
You are so obviously near.
My arms would reach out to you,
If I could only tell them to.
They would rescue you from your heavenly chains
If I could only touch you.

I’m blind now, obviously

Beautiful, I don’t know how
Your smile became an ocean wave,
Tumbling everything over
And over with
Crushing saltwater power,
Your eyes, binary suns
Burning through the world, and
I’m blind now, obviously,
But the heat remains,
Washing through your hair
A whispering
Autumn breeze
Through the shivering
Aspen, somehow,
Beautiful.

Pub Skeptics Update

I didn’t bother to post an announcement here for the March Skeptics in the Pub event. Another announcement really wasn’t needed. An estimated twenty skeptics showed up at O’Flaherty’s (that’s a record!), and the conversation was—I daresay—even better than the beer. Next month: the world!

Skeptics in the Pub, Part Deux

It’s time for South Bay skeptics to gather at the pub again! Since last month’s get-together at O’Flaherty’s in San Jose went so well, we’ll be meeting there again tonight. We have fifteen freethinkers signed up to show up tonight (a veritable convention).

An Agenda

Just in case this “informal forum” doesn’t lift itself up by its own bootstraps, I’m offering up the following framework:

1. Personal Introductions

  • Personal Background (and how it inspired the skeptic in you)
  • Favorite Self-Label: skeptic? atheist? freethinker? contrarian? drunk?
  • Favorite Topics: religion, pseudoscience, alternative medicine, climate change, etc.

2. In the News

Scientology: in the FBI’s crosshairs?

Homeopathy

Bacterial Intelligence

3. Hot Topics

Topics recently covered by noted skeptics

Skepticism

Wine-Tasting

Climate Change

Vaccination

Related Links

Skeptics in the Pub

I’ve been meaning to start a local get-together for South Bay skeptics for some time now. Since nobody seems to be in a hurry to beat me to it, here goes.

Let’s start with O’Flaherty’s in San Jose, it being about as close a thing to a pub as we have in the South Bay. If the meet is successful enough to render O’Flaherty’s too cozy, we can move ourselves accordingly.

An Agenda

Just in case this “informal forum” doesn’t lift itself up by its own bootstraps, I’m offering up the following framework:

1. Personal Introductions

  • Personal Background (and how it inspired the skeptic in you)
  • Favorite Self-Label: skeptic? atheist? freethinker? contrarian? drunk?
  • Favorite Topics: religion, pseudoscience, alternative medicine, climate change, etc.

2. In the News

Astrology in Crisis, by Steven Novella (Jan 18)

Sign of the Times: Astrology story soars like a comet, StarTribune.com (Jan 14)

Murder, Mass Die Offs, and the Meaning of Randomness, Michael Shermer (Jan 12)

Gun violence and bird die-offs in America

Pakistan rally backs blasphemy law — Al-Jazeera (Jan 9)

Deadly warning to Pakistan liberals — Al-Jazeera (Jan 7)

3. Hot Topics

Topics recently covered by noted skeptics

TestabilitySkeptics Guide 5×5 #100 (Jan 13)

  • Falsifiability: necessary but not sufficient
  • Can it be used to make predictions?
  • Some claims are non-falsifiabile by design (e.g. the claim that the earth was created to look like it’s billions of years old)
  • “The Big Bang theory … was once considered untestable”
  • The distinction between scientific and unscientific can be fuzzy (e.g. string theory)
  • Carl Sagan’s invisible floating dragon that breathes heatless fire.
  • Untestable propositions aren’t necessarily wrong; merely outside the domain of science.

Repressed Memories: Skeptics Guide 5×5 #97 (Dec 20)

You just think we’ve never met. You’re just repressing me, that’s all.

Mystery Spots: Skeptoid #240 (Jan 11)

Patronized your local gravitational anomaly lately?

Gluten Free Diets: Skeptoid #239 (Jan 4)

Is bread making you sick?

Related Links

The Fool and the Prince

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a fisherman’s son. He was not favored by the girls of the village, for he was neither smart nor good looking. He was such a fool; in fact, that the village folk got much pleasure at his expense, for he in his foolishness had given them many a humorous anecdote. Many of them would reflect that the boy had once, not very long ago, caused a great uproar of laughter when a royal procession had passed through the village. The boy had invited the crown princess to take lunch with him! Not only had the village folk broken out in laughter (many of them injuring themselves by laughing too hard), but the boy had been compelled to flee for his life when two of the royal guards tried to arrest him for his impertinent mouth. Lucky for the foolish boy, he leaped into the harbor before the guards could grab him, and he hid beneath the dock until the guards were ordered to proceed.

Continue reading

Swimming Lesson

Can’t leave this one alone …

I never knew that I’d been blind;
And then I met your eyes.
There was nothing in the world,
And then his hand
Fell on her shoulder.
The neighbors said
He’d been a strong swimmer
And he fell into your eyes.

I never knew

I never knew that I’d been blind;
Then I saw your eyes.
There was nothing
In the world,
And then his hand
Fell on her shoulder.
The neighbors said
He’d always been a strong swimmer
The day he fell into your eyes.