Yes, you can have your own official FBI* agent card! Print them while they last!
The official FBI agent card. Don’t leave home without it.
Print this image (200 dpi), sign it with your alias of choice, slip it into your wallet, and be prepared to parade it at all Bahá’í functions. This will enable you to hoard the food and refreshments while all Bahá’ís-in-good-standing dutifully shun you!
Priceless! Any small print on the back? I heard there was a statement something like this:
“In the event of my death, or at any time the need eventuates, it is my wish that my body not be cremated, but that it be harvested for any body parts that Dan Jensen, his friends and relations, may from time to time require. Thus, it is a requirement that I establish my place of residence within one hour’s journey of Dan’s home, to make this a bit more convenient for him. I will eat only healthy food at Baha’i functions and I will engage in moderate exercise. I will not carry weapons, not even for defensive purposes.”
🙁 Where’d you hear that from? That was supposed to be confidential!