11.29.06
God and the Camel from Kurdistan
Long ago, there lived a Kurdish priest in the kingdom of Medea. I say that he was Kurdish because that’s what he’d be today. I say that he was a priest, for that’s how the story goes, but some say that he was an imposter.
Whether priest or imposter, this man was certainly a instigator who refused to leave well enough alone, and he was cast out of his village. You see, the people in his city, they just wanted to do whatever would please the gods. That’s the way people are. They don’t ask questions, and maybe that’s wise. Well, this priest, maybe he was a little bit crazy. He asked questions, and those questions led to some troubling propositions. He started preaching that there’s right and wrong, and that’s it. That’s what’s holy. If the gods don’t like that, well they could go straight to Hell; and then came the day when he realized, In a flash of inspiration, that he could create his own God, an ideal deity: a righteous God. And he would believe in that God, and he would worship that God, because that God is Truth.
Quite understandably, all his neighbors were concerned that they would fall into disfavor with the gods, so they ran him out of town.
So this upstart of a priest, if that’s what you can call him, he started wandering from village to village, preaching about right and wrong, and sending the gods to Hell, and, well, each village made sure he didn’t hang around too long. He came to wander so long, they started calling him the Camel. Some called him the Yellow Camel, on account of all the dust he collected along the way.
So this camel, he kept preaching and wandering and collecting dust, until he came to the kingdom of Bactria, in a place we call Afghanistan today. There was, it turned out, a king there who caught wind of this camel, and there came a day when he grew curious, and he called the camel to his court. Kings, you see, are different than most people, because they’re harder to run out of town, and also they sometimes have a different outlook on religion. That is, sometimes they find religion useful in keeping the peace, so to speak. So this curious king, he brought in the Camel and he heard him out. He thought this upstart camel might have an idea, so he put the idea to work. This right and wrong thing, it could be easier to rally the people behind than just a gang of selfish gods. All a people really needed was a single God; it was much simpler. So the king made this Camel high priest of his kingdom, and together they remade the world. Whereas before the world was mortals currying favor from immortals, it was now one big war between right and wrong, and there wasn’t any doubt about which side was going to win. This was a battle you couldn’t be excused from.
This was an empowering idea, and perhaps it was destined to triumph. Before long it became the mantra of the most powerful man in the world:
On this account Ahuramazda brought me help, and all the other gods, all that there are, because I was not wicked, nor was I a liar, nor was I a despot, neither I nor any of my family. I have ruled according to righteousness. Neither to the weak nor to the powerful did I do wrong.
— King Darius, Behistun
Though this king of kings was somewhat inclusive, and tolerated the gods of his subjects, yet the only Power that he seems to have recognized was the power of righteousness.
